Stop Smoking Journal: Day 04

Stop Smoking Journal: Day 04

What I noticed today

Going out to play at the park

One of the many motivators for quitting is 'So I can keep up with my son'. He is a small but extremely powerful bundle of energy and I love watching him explode into action. Today I decided we go for a walk to a couple of parks nearby. The sun was out and it was a beautiful day. I brought a Wahu soccer ball so we can have a kick and play. I also wanted to test myself, to see how well I can burn energy, playing with Liam.

It started off well. We played kick to kick and that was fun. Liam got bored of it and wanted to play 'Hide and Sneak' (can't quite say 'seek' yet)! That was a heap of fun except for the part when it was my turn to hide… Liam counts too quickly!

Let's play 'chasey'

Then it happened. Liam wanted to play 'chasey'. I was up for it and this time I was going to play full out. He loves being chased. He ducks and swerves and is getting better at hearing me come roaring up behind him while running. I'm ready to swoop him off his feet, or make chomping noises while giving his bottom a little pinch, or saying he's my lunch and that I'm going to eat him! Always gets a squeal out of him.

I chased and chased and chased today. I did not stop for a breather. Not that I suddenly transformed in 4 days into super fit daddy. No, today was testing day. To see how far I can go and push myself. Even when puffing and panting, I kept going.

I wish I could say that I did extremely well and that I was super fit. That my son never had to ask me to get up and chase him. That I was always ahead of him in terms of energy levels. That my son really enjoyed playing with his dad. I wish could…

Well, I can stop wishing. What I can tell you is that I never felt so exhausted in such a long, long time. It was difficult to breathe, I kept stopping to recover from over exertion, I even got dizzy at one time.

And the one thing that made me even worse? Watching my son come back and asking me why I am not chasing him. Man, that was a low point. It was hard to look into my sons eyes and try to give a 'really good' explanation.

I've told my son that I'm stopping smoking

As I mentioned earlier one of the motivators for quitting smoking is 'So I can keep up with my son'. And this 'exercise' proved to me that I can't keep up, now at my current situation.

I've told many people that I am quitting smoking and have asked for their support. I know that I failed giving up cigarettes many times.

So I told my son that I am giving up smoking. I shared with him that I want to do that so that I can play 'chasey' for a long, long time with him. That I want to be a good dad for a very long time. That I want to do everything that he can do. And his response? One super broad smile extending across his face. And an 'ok!'.

So I asked one more person to support me. I asked my 3 year 5 month old son to tell me to stop smoking. Nothing is going to reach in further and help me stop than having my own child tell me off.

Daily Routine

  • Have you taken you CHAMPIX today? Yes.
  • Are you smoke free today? No.
  • How are you feeling today (1 angry <-> 4 happy)? 2

 

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